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When you have them by the hair and you are directing them around tell them what to do even though you are already physically making them do it. The book has elements of both social and physical submission, and is the genesis of the term "masochism" coined by the 19th century psychiatrist Krafft-Ebing. This last one is aimed specifically at women dominating men.
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It is the only test and proof that he is sincere in his desire to be submissive, and your only requirement showing you are to assume the leadership role in the relationship. This also means that unsupervised masturbation must end, and he will only orgasm with your permission.